One Butt

Would you believe it

EU make our rules

It only takes one butt

on his arse all day

to think of ways to

Fuck up our lives.


Now we have this shit

Protected Geographical

Indication…. Wow…

Now these should come

from their country of origin

Chihuahua, German Shepard

Afghan Hood American Bull dog

To name so few.


So we can’t call the following

if their not from that place – name

French fries – frog eyes

Earls dog food – now by Royalty

Superdrug – I’m not going high


Food we eat name so known

Chicken nugget – now gold

Mars bar Wow how far

Fox’s biscuit now from a den

Cherry tomatoes form a tree

Brussels sprouts only from

Brussels, never been never will

Cornish Pasties no peas

Snickers don’t try to eat


Mathews Drummers – Band

Bird Eye – French like, not I

Southern Fried only from south

Yorkshire pud from Yorkshire

Lancasher hot pot – Lancasher

Bakewell Tart – be clean

Apple pie got to see Adam, Eve

Honey from bee’s, Bee’s knees.




Sun Tan Girl

Thy open thee door enter within

Tis wonderful a sight that greet

So pleases thy eyes moment please

Now I steppe closer near my dear

Heart decided should i go sweet

Feel the warm gentle breeze


Sun tanned flesh need to scream

Rain pours eyes blinded wipe

Listen to the call of wild birds

Their calling to each this is mine

A flower in full bloom covered

in fine sweet tasting of thy self


I drink of thee so loverly thy be

Beauty unfold my petal flower

Eyes wide, opened see thee

Only in each difference be

Heart and mind lock and key

Door opens our paths meet


Eyes sparkle gem stones dew

You my love each every love

See just one. high above twinkle

Young at heart even wrinkle ones

Beauty holds uncontrollable force

Words we write power force Norse


Together for every vows one makes

Swans graceful white pure nature

Wedding dress deeds of our love

Broken heart, love shattered glass

Love story eyes stream how we feel

Poison ivy widow spider oh my love


First love never losing cry of pain

Eye to eye no words needed speck

Our universe is deep see abound

We cry, laugh, weep, sorrow, love.



Don’t Hide

Don’t try and hide
I know your there
Each year you come
Like a storm. thunder
Fighting to be supreme

Like a serpent entwine
You will not win
For I have eyes to see
I’ll look in the bushes
flower bed to, even lawn

Tall you grow far to high
Trying to hide evergreen
When it rains your a pain
With only my hands I’ll
take you by the stem

Pull so hard never again
All’s not lost, for you
will be, made into compost
So next time we meet
A good friend not weed.


Ema and Fin

Would you believe it
Ema & Fin together
Never seen her on top before
It’s not what I look for
Don’t normally have on a DVD
Even see on the big screen

Ema oh on top of Fin
Should never happen,
The dirty pair
I’d never want to see this
No cover, so bare, see all

I know they say
straight of the press
They should be covered
never the less
I would not give a dime
or even a penny to have
these two in my pad

How could they look so
innocent not caring
So famous the pair of them
World Wide they are known
Ema so prim petite pretty to
Fin O.K. he’s known for,
what-for ?

She’ Ema in all her glory
Legs apart head reaching down
Poor old Fin, wriggling, rolling
Oh she’s taken him all in
Ema swallows, swallows poor Fin
Now together what could be better

So Ema our Crane flys away
Fin, well he’s an organ – fish


I Pulled I Pulled

I pulled I Pulled

I pulled a muscle in my back

Don’t know how been so long

I hoped it would not come back

One’s bending, gardening just

normal everyday things

Punishment not thinking pain

I’m straight as a pencil normally


Disc’s not great worn the norm

Usually I can touch my toes

No problem for me hand toe

Lay straight no good that

Just take your time no banging

or exercise, life of ease please

Take your time getting up

Slowly does it, there dun hun


Do you need a walking stick

A few more years, just fine

It knocks you on your back

Damn, it kills to have a pea

Well don’t bloody look down

Don’t make me laugh, no i’m

not joking. Please no poking

I’m sure a young lady funny

words she.- Ning, Ning.




Chihuahua Chihuahua Chihuahua

Our little puppy, he’s a Chi wah’wah

He’s not Chinese from China

Yes, he’s very fragile

So Chichi, frilly, fussy fuzzy

Our little puppy called Fluffy


He should be called Bolt

As he rushes through the door

He’s not from Cheshire

or Manx either

He’ll eat Cheddar cheese even strings

Likes Buxton spring water

Enjoys Norfolk Turkey

not mustard or stuffing

Not keen on Colonel Custards

Southern Fried chicken

Loves Mc Burger, Mc Nuggets

Mc Finger, Double sausage egg

Mc Muffin, oh no thats mine

Birds eye, take of the batter

even their burger he likes

Youngs, which is covered in beer

Finally clever Mr Fox entered their house

poor Porky pig so many ways to cook

However our puppy Fluffy,

don’t give a dam, it tastes so good

as it go’s into his tum.



Emma and Fin

Hay’ look at that, it’s Emma and Fin

They just came in, look wet to me

She seems pleased with her self

Fins got a smile  like a Cheshire cat

Look his trousers seem wet


Their going back out side

I wonder why?

Let’s go  n’ see what there up to

Before we open the door,

We hear old Fin, his voice is high

Calling for more, more saying

Yes, yes come on, come on

Give it to me Emma

Emma calls out fucking hell

That’s fucking big

Fin says with a squeaky voice

I can’t fucking reach


So we open the door

Bloody heck, there washing

a fucking Elephant.